If you are a mom whose son or daughter is planning to be married soon, you are understandably proud. Of course, you want to be involved in the wedding, but you certainly don’t want to overdo it. In the interest of happy weddings for everyone, we are delighted to offer a few tips just for moms of a bride or groom.
Here’s what you need to know when your daughter or son is getting married.
Daughter drama: don’t do it
If your daughter is the bride and she really doesn’t like the dress you want to wear to her wedding, don’t even try to overrule her objection. It is, after all, her wedding and you don’t want to ‘go there’ with a dramatic disagreement. Instead, ask her what sort of dress she’d like to see you in on her special day. Browse for mother of the bride dresses together, or shop in solitude and share links to dresses you like.
Daughters and Moms should help each other understand that they’re both naturally a bit stressed and want everyone to look good on the big day. Wedding guests will be focused on the bride and watching Mom, too. Nonetheless, this public display of taste should be all about the bride and groom’s fashion sense. Let the bride help choose her mother’s dress, and everyone is sure to feel comfortable and confident, says Huffington Post.
Poised and polite
Eternal etiquette expert, Emily Post, notes that tradition allows the mother of the bride to select her own wedding day dress before the groom’s mom picks hers. Neither mom should wear colors that match those worn by the bridesmaids. Instead, opt for coordinating tones, and be sure to get the bride’s approval before going to the expense of purchasing a special dress for the occasion. No matter what, don’t wear a white dress to someone else’s wedding. Ever. If your soon-to-be daughter in law will be wearing a non-traditional black gown down the aisle, you may be able to bend this rule somewhat.
Help, but not too much
It’s not always easy for a mom to see her daughter get married and start a life of her own. For this reason, some moms tend to get over-involved in the planning stages of the beloved event. If your motherly tendencies are taking over, back off and let your daughter ask you for help if and when she needs it. Offer to address wedding invitations and run must-do errands, but don’t demand she orders your favorite floral arrangements.
Whatever you do, don’t disapprove of anything your daughter or son wants to do with his or her wedding. Really. Let them make all the decisions and help them pay for it, if you can. Think back to when you were putting together your own wedding so many years ago. You would not have appreciated anyone’s unasked for advice, right?
Relax. It’s only a wedding. It may also be the most amazing and wondrous day of your daughter or son’s life, but you can get through it. Smile and enjoy the event.