Honouring the Diva within!

Honouring the Diva within!

This topic has become so close to my heart that I feel a tug at my heart when I write about this. For years. I tried competing with men, trying to be more superior and to prove everyone wrong about who the stronger gender was. Only recently did I realise that I had missed the whole point. Maybe it was about embracing the difference and magnificence rather than trying to prove who’s better.

Men can never be women even if they tried and the same goes for women. There is beauty in this duality and there is a reason why this balance exists. It might be difficult to comprehend, but it seems far more a game of DNA that it is this way. In fact, each one of us has a feminine and masculine element and without this , it may be difficult to carry on in this world. Sometimes we don’t understand this subtle balance and try to fit into the roles assigned by the society. We don’t see the beauty in what we are.

Far too often, women fall prey to fulfilling these roles, so much so, that they forget to nurture themselves and they forget the brilliance they are made of. Society has greater demands from women especially in terms of their behaviour and their sacrifice for others. Over time, women forget to take care of themselves and feel guilty if someone around them is upset or cranky. It is the nurturing and loving side of women which makes them want to reach out to others and help them. But this ends up as a never ending chore and people around sometimes start expecting women to behave in that way, no matter what. of course, women also expect that of themselves due to the early childhood conditioning they get from the society.

The music in her soul and magic in her heart gets lost somewhere entrapped in endless cycles of fatigue and guilt. Add to that, the pressure of looking good and being judged harshly if she isn’t.  The judgement even extends to her complexion which she has no control over.

If you feel that you resonate with any of the above, you may need to look within and find the inner goddess who is waiting to be unleashed. There is a unique feel to being a woman and it extends far beyond your body. It is that feel of being a delicate and gentle beauty at a soul level which feels so good. There are some things you can do to feel the diva within and to connect with her.

1. Love yourself: While this may sound cliché, but you absolutely need to do this.  Stop putting yourself down and start honouring yourself and the beauty you are It is vital to do this. Stop comparing yourself to hundreds of actresses and models . Accept yourself and your body as it is. There is perfection in imperfection and you should be able to see the tiny imperfections as something that sets you apart from everyone else. Loving yourself doesn’t mean you don’t take care of yourself. It may mean that once you really start loving yourself , you start taking better care of yourself. It is a wonderful place to be in. Realising that no one can be like you is the biggest thing to realise and cherish. Look into the mirror every morning and really take time to appreciate yourself.

2. Give yourself an “Hour of Power”: I believe in letting myself go, at least in some areas of my life. There are so many rules to adhere to in terms of how to behave and how to conduct oneself in public, that it leaves very little room for us to be what we really want. You are constantly afraid that you might hurt someone or break some unknown boundaries.  I believe in consciously trying to be myself at least one hour a day. You can start with 30 minutes if one hour is too much. This is your time. No one can dictate it and no one can judge what you do during this time.

It is yours. It is best to do something using which you can express yourself. My preferred methods are dance and writing. It doesn’t matter if you are good at anything creative or not. The point is to express that freedom-that part of you which might be imperfect and knowing that no one can judge you during that Hour of Power. You can sketch, paint, write, sing, dance or much more. In fact, you can dress up and dance for hours to see the diva come alive. It may look weird to others, but hey, it is your time and no one is supposed to judge what you do with it. It gives a little part of you that power and freedom, that you can experiment more with your life and let yourself go.

3. No guilt, please: Recently I was doing “The Morning Pages” which is described in Julia Cameron’s “The Artist’s Way”. It is an excellent tool for unblocking creativity and getting in touch with your real self which is beyond all the internal dialogue and drama. I realised while writing that I had this constant guilt throughout the day for something or the other. It was either work related or related to my personal life, but the guilt was consistent. And it would not deter me from doing the things that made me feel guilty. Guilt is just a cover up to make us feel that we are trying our best, but in reality we are just doing the things we want. Guilt comes up when we are not strong enough to stand by our decisions.

A lot of it comes from the programming that women are supposed to fit into the various roles of being an ideal daughter, wife and mother. A woman is often judged based on these criteria. We should try to find the “I” within all these roles. Men are not subject to the level of guilt women are. Take charge today and don’t give any apologies to anyone or to yourself for things that you truly believe in. Of course, the boundary between good and bad needs to be clear so that you don’t harm anyone just because there are no apologies involved.

4. The invisible crown: Go out and spend some time alone every week. Maybe you can go out shopping, to a local cafe or to a spa. Pamper yourself. And while you go ahead and do that, imagine a crown on your head. You can decide the colors and the shape of the crown. It is an amazing mood booster. Pretend that you are that goddess or diva and slowly you will start treating yourself with more love and respect. Once you do that, people around you will also start doing the same.

Start treating yourself the way you were intended to be treated- with love and care.

Image Credits: DigitalArt/freedigitalphotos.net

Neetika Rao Saksena
I am a writer, an author (Amazon best seller) and a believer in the power of positive thinking. I see the good in the world and I am sure it'll only get better. Visit my site at www.neetikaraosaksena.com. Check out my book at http://amzn.to/1nLMihw
Neetika Rao Saksena

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